5 Tips from St. Francis de Sales for Growing in Humility

To grow in holiness, we need divine grace. But, if we want God’s grace to be poured out into our hearts, it is necessary to empty them of our own-self glory. Humility disposes us to seek only the glory of God and to let go of ourselves; for this reason, it preserves within the soul the graces and gifts of the Holy Spirit.

All the saints—and above all the King of Saints and His Most Holy Mother—have honored and loved this virtue more than any other. There can be no holiness without humility.

Do you want to become a saint? Practice humility. How can this be done? Follow these five practical tips from Saint Francis de Sales to grow daily in this virtue.

Who was St. Francis de Sales?

St. Francis de Sales was a 17th-century bishop, pastor, and doctor of the Church, renowned for his profound humility, his evangelical gentleness, and his remarkable ability to unite fidelity to the truth and genuine charity in human relationships.

Born into a noble family in Savoy, he received an excellent intellectual education in Paris and Padua. His father envisioned for him a successful civil and legal career. Yet from an early age, Francis clearly discerned a vocation to the priesthood and to the service of the Church.

For years, he endured a painful inner struggle between filial obedience and what he perceived as God’s call. With patience, respect, and quiet firmness, Saint Francis de Sales waited for the right moment to express his decision—without rebellion or rupture—until he eventually obtained his father’s consent. Ordained a priest in 1593, he devoted himself entirely to pastoral ministry.

As a priest and later as bishop of Geneva, he distinguished himself through his apostolic zeal in times of deep religious division. He evangelized regions strongly marked by Calvinism, especially the Chablais, even risking his life. St. Francis de Sales never resorted to violence or aggressive polemics. Instead, he evangelized through constant preaching, respectful dialogue, doctrinal clarity, and a persevering gentleness that ultimately won hearts.

He was an untiring shepherd: he preached, heard confessions, wrote extensively, visited remote parishes, reformed the clergy, and offered spiritual guidance to people from every walk of life. He lived with great simplicity, refused honors and prestigious positions, and showed particular concern for the poor. His authority rested more on personal example than on power.

As a writer and spiritual director, Saint Francis de Sales taught that holiness is possible for everyone, including those living in the midst of the world. His letters and works convey a deeply human spirituality centered on the love of God, trust, humility, and gentleness. Together with Saint Jane Frances de Chantal, he founded the Order of the Visitation.

St. Francis de Sales died in 1622. He was canonized in 1665 and declared a Doctor of the Church in 1877.

In the books of St. Francis de Sales, especially Introduction to the Devout Life and the Treatise on the Love of God, we can find his main teachings on spiritual growth.

Saint Francis de Sales is remembered as a saint of gentleness, a master of Christian humility, and a witness of the truth, proclaimed with firmness, yet always with love.

What did St. Francis de Sales do to become a saint?

Saint Francis de Sales did not attain holiness through spectacular gestures, but through a humble, faithful, and constant adherence to the will of God in everyday life.

He practiced obedience to a heroic degree

From a young age, St. Francis de Sales felt called to the priesthood, yet he never imposed this calling through rebellion. He obeyed his father by studying Law, without losing sight of his ultimate purpose: to serve God. Quietly, he pursued theological studies, sought spiritual guidance, and accepted indirect paths without losing direction. He endured his father’s opposition with patience, obeying as far as he could and waiting for the right moment. His holiness matured within this tension, accepted with gentleness.

Saint Francis de Sales knew how to distinguish between obedience born of humility and the moment when conscience, enlightened by God, demands a definitive response.

He Let Go of Human Advantages to Embrace God’s Plan

He turned down prestigious civil and ecclesiastical positions, advantageous marriage alliances, and offers of great power. He did not despise the world, but he refused to be ruled by ambition. He chose poverty, simplicity, and inner freedom in order to love more fully.

He Won Souls Through Gentleness

In the Chablais, Saint Francis de Sales proclaimed Catholic truth without violence or coercion. He risked his life, endured rejection and ridicule, yet persevered with patience. His method was gentleness: convincing others through truth lived and explained with love.

He was firm in doctrine but gentle in his manner. He never confused humility with weakness. He understood that truth does not need to shout in order to prevail, and that hearts are won more by patience than by force.

This spirit is reflected in many of Saint Francis de Sales’ sayings, which invite us to win hearts before winning arguments.

He Lived a Life of Austerity

As a bishop, Saint Francis de Sales chose a sober way of life, renounced what was superfluous, and gave his resources to the poor. His authority did not come from his rank, but from the coherence of his life.

He Was Faithful to His State in Life

As a layman, he devoted himself fully to the study of law—even though he disliked it and was aware that God was calling him to the priesthood. As a priest and bishop, he gave himself tirelessly to preaching, hearing confessions, writing letters, visiting parishes, listening, and offering counsel. He made the ordinary extraordinary. Saint Francis de Sales was faithful in the daily duties of his vocation.

He Entrusted Himself Completely to God

His final words summarize his spirituality: “May the will of God be done! Jesus, my God and my all!” For him, holiness meant complete trust in God’s infinite mercy and a boundless love for souls.

• You may be interested in: Biography and Spirituality of St. Francis de Sales

Tips from Saint Francis de Sales to Cultivate Humility

1. Exterior Humility: Flee from Vainglory

Saint Francis de Sales begins the path of humility with a clear and direct warning: vainglory is a subtle deception. Very often, we attribute to ourselves merits that are not truly ours, or we take pride in gifts that give no real reason for glory. For this reason, he states plainly:

«We call that glory vain which we take to ourselves, either because it is not truly ours, or because, though it is ours, it is not such as we should glory in.».

For the saint, not everything that shines is true worth. Nobility, reputation, or social prestige—he explains—do not truly belong to us, but rest “in our ancestors or in the opinion of others.” To build one’s identity upon the gaze of others is to build upon sand, something clearly reflected throughout the biography of Saint Francis de Sales, marked by a profound interior detachment from honors.

With striking relevance even today, Saint Francis de Sales, in his sayings, exposes the superficiality of those who ground their value in outward things: appearance, fashion, social charm, or artistic talent. He observes that “some pride themselves on their outward beauty” or on fleeting abilities, thereby revealing, as he says, “great shallowness, since they place their esteem and reputation in such trivial things.”

Even the noblest gifts can become occasions for sin when they are not accompanied by humility.

The saint’s criterion is clear: gifts ennoble us when we acknowledge them as received, but they discredit us when we desire them for ourselves or use them to assert superiority over others.

Thus, whoever seeks virtue out of love for God grows inwardly, while the one who pursues appearances ends by emptying himself:

«He who loves virtue already begins to become virtuous; but he who seeks reputation and outward show makes himself contemptible and blameworthy.».

Saint Francis does not propose fleeing the world or abandoning responsibility. One may hold a high office and still remain humble, provided the heart does not take delight in fame. The truly humble person, he says, remains at peace both in honor and in obscurity, undisturbed when prestige fades.

In the end, fleeing from vainglory does not mean despising oneself, but recognizing who we truly are: creatures who have received everything from God. We are called to return to Him, with simplicity and gratitude, all the gifts He has bestowed upon us in His mercy.

2. Interior Humility: Meditating on the Gifts We Have Received

Saint Francis de Sales teaches that humility does not consist in denying the gifts we have received, but in truthfully acknowledging their source. Many people, he says, are afraid to recall God’s graces for fear of becoming proud, but this fear springs from a spiritual misunderstanding. Drawing on Saint Thomas Aquinas, he explains that in order to grow in the love of God we must consider the benefits He has bestowed upon us, because the more vividly we remember them, the more deeply we will love Him.

Far from fostering pride, remembering God’s gifts makes us more humble when we do so in His presence:

«Nothing makes us so humble before God as the consideration of our own miseries and of the infinite benefits we have received from Him».

For this reason, he proposes a very concrete spiritual exercise: placing side by side God’s mercy and our own frailty.

«Let us then consider what God has done for us, and what we have done against Him.».

Recognizing the good we have received should not trouble us, for whatever good is in us does not truly belong to us:

«If we acknowledge that the good we have is not our own, we shall have no fear of becoming puffed up with pride.».

He illustrates this truth with one of his vivid and almost ironic images, so characteristic of the sayings of Saint Francis de Sales:

«Mules do not cease to be beasts of burden because they are laden with precious perfumes and costly goods.s».

Saint Francis recalls, with Saint Paul, the ultimate foundation of Christian humility:

«What have you that you did not receive? And if you received it, why do you glory as if you had not received it?» (1 Cor 4:7).

If, however, recalling God’s graces should awaken restlessness or vanity, the saint proposes a simple and realistic remedy: to remember our ingratitude, our imperfections, and our miseries—not to discourage ourselves, but to return to the truth.

The perfect model of this humility is the Blessed Virgin Mary. She did not deny God’s gifts, but acknowledged them with gratitude and praise:

«My soul magnifies the Lord… for He who is mighty has done great things for me» (Lk 1:46.49).

Here Saint Francis introduces a decisive warning: authentic humility is never theatrical. It does not consist in constantly repeating that we are nothing while secretly desiring to be admired.

«True humility does not make a show of itself, nor does it speak much of itself; rather, it seeks to hide itself.».

The truly humble person, he explains, prefers to be thought little of by others rather than to proclaim his own misery; and when he is despised, “he does not contradict it, but bears it willingly,” because he lives in the truth about himself.

Saint Francis de Sales also unmasks a very common false humility: one that refuses spiritual goods or service to God under pious pretexts. To avoid prayer, frequent Communion, or the use of one’s talents for the good of others out of so-called “humility” is not virtue but—using his strong words—“a feigned humility, not only false, but even diabolical,” because it hides self-love and spiritual sloth beneath the appearance of reverence.

The truly humble person, by contrast, is bold, because he trusts God more than himself:

«The proud man does not dare attempt anything for fear of failing; but the humble man is all the more courageous because he knows his own weakness.».

For this reason, Saint Francis de Sales concludes by encouraging us to advance without fear in the spiritual life, to accept God’s graces, and—when charity requires it—to speak simply even of the good God has worked in us. Everything rests upon this luminous principle:

«Charity is the true sun of the virtues», and a humility that contradicts charity is not true humility.

Finally, Saint Francis invites us to live with simplicity and joy, even when devotion brings misunderstanding or contempt:

«Do the same yourself—remain untroubled and keep your joy—if, because of your life of prayer and devotion, you sometimes have to suffer being misunderstood.».

3. To Love Our Own Littleness

Here Saint Francis de Sales takes a decisive step: it is not enough to acknowledge our own misery; we must learn to love it. He states this without hesitation: If you wish to advance in humility, you must love your own littleness.
But what does it truly mean to love our own littleness or misery?

The saint explains it with great precision. By “misery” he understands “the littleness, lowliness, and baseness that are in us, whether we acknowledge them or not.” Humility, on the other hand, is the voluntary acceptance of that misery—and, he adds boldly, even “to love it and take delight in it.” This is not self-contempt, but living in truth before God, an attitude that runs throughout the life of Saint Francis de Sales.

The supreme model of this humility is the Blessed Virgin Mary. In the Magnificat, she does not deny her lowliness; rather, she rejoices that God has looked upon her as she truly is:

«For He has regarded the lowliness of His servant».
Mary acknowledges her littleness and glories in it, because she knows that God accomplishes great things precisely through what is small.

Saint Francis de Sales sharply distinguishes between the forms of misery the world admires and those it despises. There are sufferings that command respect—such as the poverty of a hermit—and others that provoke contempt when they affect ordinary people. Many would willingly accept the former, but true humility is tested in the latter:

«The virtue of humility does not consist merely in patiently bearing our miseries, but also in bearing the contempt that arises from them».

Here the saint dismantles a deeply worldly criterion: not all virtues enjoy the same esteem, and we ourselves often judge them poorly. We admire courage or generosity but despise patience, meekness, simplicity, and humility. Yet, he warns, “under the influence of the world,” we invert the true order of values.

For this reason, he invites us to love virtue even when it brings contempt with it. A young man or woman who avoids frivolous conversation, seductive fashions, or morally dangerous environments will often not be admired but mocked; simplicity will be mistaken for hypocrisy. And yet, to love that very contempt is itself an act of humility.

Saint Francis de Sales applies this teaching to very concrete situations: practicing charity without being seen, accepting failures, enduring humiliations that are not the result of personal fault, or even those small imperfections that are not sinful yet lower us in the eyes of others.

«Although we should strive to avoid them, once they have occurred, they should gladden us more than disturb us because of the humiliation that comes from them.»

Even when one has fallen into sin, the saint makes a clear distinction: sin must always be detested, but the humiliation that follows it may be accepted and even loved:

«If you could separate the one from the other, you would reject the sin, and humbly retain the humiliation.».

This does not exclude charity. When someone has been offended, reparation must be made; when another’s reputation is at stake, clarification may be necessary. But even then, he insists, we must not lose sight of the spiritual good that humiliation brings us, because it keeps us grounded in truth.

Saint Francis de Sales concludes with a teaching of profound spiritual depth:

«The best humiliations, the most profitable to the soul and the most pleasing to God, are those that come to us without our choosing them»,
those we do not select for ourselves, but which God wisely permits, because “He knows better than we do how to choose for us.” The more they run counter to our natural inclinations, the more fruitful they can become.

Finally, he points to the source of this grace: Jesus Christ Himself,

«He chose disgrace and death in order to exalt us..

Saint Francis de Sales does not hide the difficulty of this path, but he assures us with spiritual certainty:

«Believe me, if you put these teachings into practice, they will become sweet to you as honey».

4. Preserve a good reputation without ceasing to be humble

Here, Saint Francis de Sales introduces a very delicate balance between humility and good reputation. Humility rejects the desire to excel, to be preferred, or to be praised; yet it does not despise good name, for this can be useful for the good of one’s neighbor and for perseverance in virtue. To preserve an honest reputation is not vanity, but an act of charity, whenever the edification of others depends upon it.

The danger arises when concern for reputation becomes excessive. One who lives obsessed with defending his good name ends by losing it, and one who seeks to please everyone ends by displeasing everyone. In the face of murmuring and unjust calumny, Saint Francis de Sales ordinarily recommends serene contempt and silence, for patience often disarms the slanderer more effectively than passionate self-defense.

Reputation, he insists, is not virtue itself, but only its outward sign. Therefore, when fidelity to virtue places one’s good name at risk, the interior good must always be preferred to external applause. The Christian is called to serve God both in good repute and in ill repute, trusting that Christ Himself will be the guardian of his honor.

Finally, Saint Francis de Sales teaches that unchosen humiliations—those imposed upon us by life without our seeking them—are the most spiritually fruitful. Accepted in faith, they make us resemble the humbled Christ and lead us into a humility that is true, gentle, and transformative.

• You may be interested in: Introduction to the Devout Life (Saint Francis de Sales)

Mastery of One’s Temperament

To become saints, it is also essential to learn how to master one’s own temperament. This is achieved by working against our defects, strengthening the virtues, and reordering our natural inclinations. Humility is the first step in this process, for it requires self-knowledge and the acceptance of who we truly are before God.

Saint Francis de Sales teaches that true mastery of temperament does not arise from harshness or from the violent control of the passions, but from meekness united with humility. These two virtues, symbolized in the sacred chrism—a mixture of balm and oil—perfume the heart when they are genuine and not merely apparent. Humility orders our relationship with God; meekness orders our relationship with our neighbor. And it is precisely in daily interactions that the truth of our heart is put to the test.

Meekness is not weakness, but the most delicate and perfect flower of charity, for charity reaches its fullness when it becomes patient, gentle, and mild. For this reason, Saint Francis de Sales warns that one of the greatest spiritual deceptions is to believe that we are humble and meek simply because we appear so outwardly. The decisive test comes when we receive an injury, a correction, or a murmuring: if the heart becomes inflamed, hardened, or rebellious, it is a sign that these virtues have not yet taken deep root.

Anger, even when it presents itself as “just,” is a dangerous enemy. Saint Francis de Sales counsels never to open the door to it, not even a small crack, for once admitted it quickly takes possession of the soul, like the serpent that drags its entire body wherever it manages to insert its head. The angry man, Scripture tells us, does not work the justice of God, and he almost never recognizes his own disorder while he is under the sway of passion.

The saint insists that correction given in anger loses its effectiveness, even when the matter itself is just. Reason persuades; passion tyrannizes. Therefore, when it is necessary to correct or reprimand—especially those entrusted to our care—it must be done with gentleness and calm. Nothing soothes an agitated heart as meekness, just as the sight of a lamb calms an enraged elephant. Reasonable correction is received; angry correction wounds, humiliates, and leaves resentment behind.

Now, to master one’s temperament does not mean to repress anger with inner violence. Saint Francis de Sales proposes a more delicate and effective path: to combat anger with gentleness, without harshness, without inward shouting, without severity toward oneself. Whoever tries to smother anger abruptly only stirs up greater turmoil within the soul. Instead, the first step is a calm determination not to be carried away, followed by a humble invocation of God—asking for help, like the Apostles in the storm, so that Christ may calm the inner waves.

When, despite all this, anger does break forth, the saint advises repairing it immediately with an act of kindness and gentleness toward the person offended. Recent wounds heal more easily, and a contrary act of meekness has a medicinal power over the soul.

This exercise is not limited to our dealings with others. Saint Francis de Sales insists on something essential: we must also be meek with ourselves. Gentleness must reign within the soul and within the home, avoiding the inconsistency of those who appear kind in public but become harsh and disordered in private. Mastery of temperament is either integral, or it is not true at all.

In the end, anger is useful for nothing. It does not build, it does not persuade, it does not sanctify. Meekness, on the contrary, governs the heart, orders the passions, and makes us like Christ, meek and humble of heart. Whoever learns to close the door to anger and to walk in gentleness discovers a deep interior freedom and a peace that no outburst can ever offer.

Do you want to grow in virtues by imitating the saints? Take a look at these articles that may help you:

• 6 Things You Didn’t Know About Saint Luke: Multifaceted saint who put all his talents at the service of evangelization.
• 5 Remarkable Stories from the Life of Saint Teresa of Avila: Spiritual teacher who lived with intensity, fought against her own weaknesses (like everyone) and allowed herself to be transformed by the love of God.
• Saint Francis of Assisi: the saint most like Christ: His simple existence, marked by detachment, joy, and love for all creatures, as reflections of God, moves to the imitation of Christ.